Love is a beautiful thing. The best love relationships are the ones that last forever. Marriage is one of the ways to take that step towards eternity. And when you find that one you desire to take down the aisle, it is customary to put a tiny cuff around their finger pending the day you say “I do”. Those little cuffs are called engagement rings. Here are 13 questions to ask before you get that engagement.
1. How much should I spend on the ring?
The ball is not in your court. There’s you and there is also the woman you wish to marry, the woman you love so much. And there is a barrel full of friends, acquittances, close family, not so close family, colleagues, neighbors, your ex, your landlady, etc., all whose opinion shouldn’t count in this matter but who are sure to pop nose. Marriages are for the couple but weddings are shared with family and friends. It starts with a befitting engagement ring. You have to get something presentable for your woman.
How much should it cost? Two things count. How much you love your woman and how much you want to impress. Your income counts, but not as much as these two. Imagine you want to propose to Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj the superstar. No matter how broke you are, you won’t give her a cheap engagement ring. How much should the ring cost? We don’t know, but you won’t give your lover a cheap ring. You dare not.
Two months of your income is a good place to start. It is called the two months rule and many have purchased their gems using this as the template. This rule is flawed. If you earn 8000 dollars per month and only serve 2000 dollars, using this rule, you may have to serve for eight months to get her the ring. That doesn’t make a ton of sense.
You may want to get a ring within your national average. That’s 5000 dollars in the United States, 2000 dollars in the UK and 3,500 dollars in Canada. Pricey? It is worth it. Too pricey? No qualms, it is just an average. The average height for an American woman is 5 feet 4 inches. Kim Kardashian is nearly two inches shorter than this yet she’s rocking the internet and raking in millions.
Your engagement ring budget should reflect your unique circumstances. Add a little craziness and romance to this and you have the perfect ring.
2. Is the engagement ring different from the wedding ring?
No, they are not the same thing. An engagement ring is a ring you give to a woman on the day you propose to her. She wears it to signify she is no longer in the romance bracket. She wears it until the wedding day and replaces it with the wedding ring.
3. What finger should I wear the engagement ring?
On the fourth finger of your left hand. Why left hand because the Ancient Romans or the Medieval British Tudors, it depends on whom you ask (and whom you choose to believe), believed that there is a vein in the left ring finger connected to the heart. There is also the whispers about the English protestants being the reason for this lefthandedness. It is believed that on breaking away from Rome, they took the opposite of the Catholic ways of doing things thereby wearing wedding bands on the left finger, a tradition that later became the norm.
But you don’t have to wear your wedding ring on your left finger. In some cultures, such as Russia, India, and Germany, engagement rings are worn on the right hand, perhaps due to the belief that the left hand is the bad hand. While the west has continued to wear their wedding and engagement rings on the left hand, gay folks are increasingly taking the right way – on their right hand.
4. What happens to the ring if we break the engagement?
You flush it down the toilet. You throw it on his face and ask him to go screw himself. You throw it out of the window of the car as you drive out of his life. You place it on his table and walk out of his apartment. You store it on your handbag and bring it out from time to time to cry and mourn over your loss.
Anything you want to do with it, it’s your engagement ring, your broken engagement, your call. Wait, returning the ring might not be a good idea. He may give it to Lois as an engagement ring. Some men are like that.
Note that there ARE laws regarding the return of the engagement ring in the case of a broken relationship. Some states require that you keep it, some states specify that you keep it only if the man broke the engagement. Check with your state before you press the toilet valve.
5. What type of material should the engagement rings be made of?
In the 1930s, following the collapse of the price of diamonds, De Beers started a campaign to bring diamonds back to public reckoning. They sold the public two sauces (or craps depending on your side of the fence). One, they told the public a man must spend one month of his income on engagement rings. Two, only diamonds are worthy of being featured in an engagement ring. In 1980, they suggested that a man should spend two months of their income on their engagement ring.
Of course, you won’t let a capitalist outfit probably founded by an oligarch decide for you. Engagement rings can be made of emerald, ruby, or sapphire gemstones. Diamond is mostly preferred because it is nearly impossible to rust and scratch.
6. How can I tell my lady’s size?
How did God make Eve? He put Adam to a deep slumber then cut off one of his ribs and formed Eve with it. You can go the same. While she sleeps, go to her bag and check the size of her ring. Or stylishly tell her she wears a rather large ring for her small finger and she will tell you that it is just size 8.
7. What kind of care and maintenance does your engagement ring need?
Start by getting an insurance cover for your ring. Check the prongs and settings of your ring regularly. Some jewelers ask that you bring the ring to them once a year for a check. If your ring is that costly, do this. Of course, no one expects you to take your 400-dollar engagement ring to the jeweler for checking. Just saying.
Take off the ring before you do strenuous chores or exercises. It will pay you to have ring dishes in each of your room so you know where to look when the time comes. And clean your ring regularly. Cleaning your ring is easy, drop in a mug of warm water mixed with a few drops of soap or mild dishwashing detergent, then, after a couple of minutes or overnight (if you wish) gently scrub the stone and basket with a soft-bristled baby toothbrush, rinse, and pat dry.
8. What if my girl hates the ring I chose for her?
Well, some girls are hard to shop for. They are so picky they won’t accept any gift they didn’t turn the jewelry shop or boutique inside out to select. If this is the case, then you have to make her see reaons why this good enough or not as bad as she paints it. If you tell her that your grandmother desired something like this till she died the lie might win her over. Or make it worse.
But your woman might be easy to shop for and still hate the engagement ring you gave her. Now, you have to ask yourself: Can I afford a replacement? If so, buy a new ring for her. If the shop you bought this from has a return policy, the better. If you can’t afford a new ring, promise to take her along as when you go shopping for the wedding band. This might soothe her.
Or she will bitch till the wedding day. Her call.
9. What happens to the ring after the wedding?
You burn the ring then climb the 13th floor of a building and throw the ashes out of the window for good luck. Of course, we are kidding, but that isn’t such a bad idea if you choose to. Before the wedding, the engagement ring is transferred to the right hand, making room for the wedding ring on the left hand. This is not on every occasion and you don’t have to do that. You can choose to wear the wedding ring on top of the engagement ring, or pair them together to make for a super ring. You may choose to keep the ring among your special icons in your bedroom and admire them from time to time to remind you of how much you love your man.
10. Should I as a man wear an engagement ring?
Hell no is the first answer that comes to mind. But this is the 21st century, so never say hell no. Western tradition only accounts for an engagement ring for the lady. A man proposes to a woman that makes sense if he gives her the ring. Jewelers have been trying. over the years, with little success to make men’s engagement ring mainstream. In 2018, the music star Ed Sheeran was spotted wearing a band on his ring finger at the Brits. As he wasn’t married it meant one thing – it’s an engagement ring or man-gagement, as the pushers of men’s engagement ring call it.
It is strange but it happens. If it is your thing, why not, go ahead and wear it.
Featured Image by David Yurman.
